I knew how to play these fairly well. I just dusted off some rust and was good to go. What I remeber the most wasn't my playing or singing it was my grandmother. Her sitting next to me and singing. It floored me. I was in awe. That same night my Uncle Dave joined my grandmother and I on stage and he sang "Goodnight Irene" with us. If you want to call what he was doing singing. I was told that was one of his favourite karaoke songs. I'm realizing as I type this out that Uncle Dave passed away two weeks ago. From complications of varying things. He had a New Englander's accent and a great smile. I'm glad I saw him over the summer in Massachusetts before he became ill. This show will always remain as a fond memory. One i will never forget. He was truly a great man, and this night was equally great.
The second best show I ever played was for my Grandma Jean. For a long while grandma was battling alzheimers. I remember being a teenager and counting how many times she asked my dad what we were watching, it was 7 times. Each time my dad saying "the Bulls game." She loved Johnny Red Kerr, and who could blame her he was awesome. That 7 times was within an hour, also.
Grandma progressively got worse, as alzheimers likes to do. Soon, her house in Oak Lawn was sold and she went off to live with my Aunt Jane in Shirley, Massachusetts. She was doing well for a time there, but it was in 2006 or 2007 when she moved to Darlington, Wisconsin and it was here that I played my second best, or favorite show.
She was living in a nurisng home not too far from my Aunt Linda, her eldest daughter, and only about two hours away from my Dad. I remember going up there a lot during this time. Almost every weekend. Going with my Dad as support. It was one weekend though that has always stuck with me. My Aunt Jane was going to visit grandma from Shirley, and she told me to come up and bring my guitar. I obliged and Dad and i drove up that weekend. I sat in Grandma's hospital room with my dad and aunt, holding my guitar. I remember Jane showed me an old folk song called "Today." We played the song and Jane sang because she has a voice of an angel. I remember looking at my grandma laying in bed, bascially catatonic, and a smile came across her face. From ear to ear she smiled. I started crying a little as a feeling came over me that felt like we were playing her off. This was really heavy and I got up and drank some water, and went to the bathroom. Then went outside to have a smoke. I knew grandma was on her last days and nobody needed to tell me that. I knew this might be the last time I ever see her. I played her that song and my "I love you" and "see you later" were all in that song, and she smiled in acknowledgement, or that is what I like to think at least. Being a little selfish.
I remember packing up my guitar and saying I love you and bye to grandma barely keeping it together. I remember getting into Jane's car and driving back to the farm and Jane playing the song she wrote for her dad through my father's cd player in his car, and most likely the three of us crying, because through all of this my Dad was there.
The timeline escapes me. Hell, even the year this happened escapes me. I remember after this in grandma's room she passed away probably within the upcoming week, or over the next few days. It was truly one of the hardest things I have ever been through. Watching a person's inevitable demise. From when I was teenager to being in my mid to late twenties. What was not hard though was playing a song for someone I loved and seeing a light return to her eyes and face that I hadn't seen in a long time. A feeling washed over me that, it was okay to let go. A simple thank you written above her in letters that I could only see.
I have played many shows before and since both of these events. i would be remiss if I didn't mention the ones with my brother. Those remain as some truly special ones, even just us creating songs. But, these two moments described all in the previous are forever stamped on my heart. They carry an emotion and a heartbeat of their own. They walk alongside all those played with my brother. They were formidable in my sense of self and playing whether I knew that or not. My Grandma Mary is still alive and well at 91 years young. With the recent passing of my Uncle Dave this was especially something I wanted to write. As he was such a great man, husband, step-father, and Uncle. Always a fun time, and that New England accent.
The take away from all of this for me is: life is equal parts short and long. To make the best of it. Whether you know it or not you can make a difference or brighten up someone's day with the simplest of gestures. I found that out through a series of events that I will forever cherish.
